What we get wrong about Change, and what to do about it.

Dec 29, 2023

Change is hard, inevitable, and a process. What if you had the secret to how internal change worked? What would you do with it? What would you change in your life? I'll share the exact steps (four of them) you can follow to create the change you want. But first, let's talk about the elephant in the room... Can you believe it’s almost 2024? Depending on the year you’ve had, you might be saying, “Finally,” or “Wow, that was fast.” Regardless of your experience this year, there’s one thing we all have in common that we “deal” with every year…Change! Some call this adaptability, shifting, goals, or other terms. Regardless of the name you give to this ever-present phenomenon, we all must deal with it. I want to share how change works and how you can leverage this new understanding.

Why Change?

First off, why change? We experience change around us with the seasons, the weather, aging, and much more. But there is another kind of change that we can mostly control. That’s the internal and mindset changes. ​ So here’s how that works. There are four requisites for change. In short, they are Release, Create, Act, and Focus.


​Recently a wheel on the luggage we usually use when we fly broke. It broke while we were traveling and made it rather awkward to move around. We dragged it around for the trip, then tossed it out when we got home. This is how we should approach the baggage we carry in our lives. Instead, even when we notice the drag the baggage has on us, we don’t throw it away or release it; we continue to carry it around. Then more baggage gets added, and we carry that too. Eventually, more baggage gets added, but it is so heavy we don’t notice the added components. With release work, you are learning to let go of self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, negative emotions, and misaligned values weighing you down in a particular area of life. Once this work is done and all the baggage has been tossed out. Change begins in earnest. You can truly move to the Create phase.


​Robin Sharma, a world-renowned speaker and author who has sold over 20 million books, said it this way when speaking about creating. “Everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.” That is the beauty of the next step in the process of change. We can all take this step, and rather effectively. If you don’t release the self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, etc., you will be creating from a cluttered and burdened mind. Your creation then will be skewed and more limited too. Instead, we create from a place of forward momentum and clarity when we’ve released the “stuff” hindering us. From this place of creation, you can do the work to create the future you want and begin to pursue it with passion and high motivation. Which means transitioning to step three is easy.


​In my coaching practice, I help my clients do the Release and Create work. The process is intentional, sequential, and works every time. The real payoff comes in the third step. It happens when my clients act with conviction and clarity on the future they created and make it a reality. When people operate from this dynamic, accountability and follow-through are second nature. The willingness to take action that seemed terrifying before the release work is now second nature and obvious. Take riding a bike, for example. When you first start, what’s the primary limiting belief? You can’t do it. What’s the fear (negative emotion)? Falling. But the faster we overcome or let go of the fears and limiting beliefs, the sooner we get our first taste of freedom as a child.


​While riding that bike, we had one thing in mind. A singular focus that kept us going. We wanted to stay up and not fall. The fears and beliefs changed, we started pedaling, and the next thing you know, we got the reward of that beautiful freedom of riding a bike as a kid. The four-step process can be illustrated in learning to ride a bike. The Release, Create, Act, and Focus process applies to public speaking, starting a business, hiring, relationships, losing weight, etc. The list is endless. The list may be endless, and the goals you can achieve are as well, but the change process is finite and defined—four steps and in this order.

What's Next?

​As you step into the final month of 2023 and create goals for 2024, I want to encourage and challenge you to think about what negative emotions, limiting beliefs, and self-sabotage could be in your way of achieving your goals and aspirations. When you discover this “baggage,” I want you to remember the four requisites for change and begin the work. If this feels challenging for you and you’ve been trying to overcome the barriers and self-imposed limitations for some time, but haven’t been able to or want to speed things up, let’s talk. I want you to make those changes and create the future you want. I will help you to do that and then act on your goals without deviating because of all the distractions of life and business. The great thing about this process is I help my clients rip through the first two steps of change in six hours or less!

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